Six Puns Day Four Hundred Ninety: Crayons
“I think you get the picture,” said Sara, the carpenter. “It only takes a few whacks with a hammer to get a nail into place. I don’t chalk this up to a vast spectrum of knowledge, or even years of...
View ArticleSix Puns Day Four Hundred Ninety One: Maps
“What are you saying?” asked the producer to the film reviewer. “Even though that movie you saw needed some better direction, this is a key thing to understand: in cinema, not every joke will land. My...
View ArticleSix Puns Day Five Hundred Eight: Buckets
“You’re not going to bail me out?” asked the criminal. “No, I think you’ll be able to handle your sentence, Phil, it pales in comparison to the amount of community service you have to do,” said the...
View ArticleSix Puns Day Five Hundred Twenty Nine: Manatees
I see cows all the time trying to lick my calf. They really aren’t shallow (they enjoy a parade float as much as any other mammal)–I think they’re just swamped with work sometimes–if you catch my drift.
View ArticleSix Puns Day Five Hundred Thirty Three: Lampreys
“If you don’t pull this latch, this system will need more bytes–you will see its performance slow down,” said Nancy, the technician. “That seems to make sense,” said her co-worker, “This bloody thing...
View ArticleSix Puns Day Five Hundred Thirty Eight: Hedgehogs
“I get the point: there are no more rolls in this borough,” said the restauranteuse. “I have to go elsewhere for them, especially for dessert. Well, maybe not…I saw Nick the other day and he might know...
View ArticleSix Puns Day Five Hundred Thirty Nine: Protein
“A mean, no, kind person can build resonance with his or her audience and pep tides of people while forming bonds,” said the teacher. “A true leader never does any folding, and knows how to keep their...
View ArticleSix Puns Day Five Hundred Forty Five: Bottles
It might be clear that to put a cap on your neck, you need to whine to others until they help you. Then you can tell them about your sister’s new record label, and that no one can stop her.
View ArticleSix Puns Day Five Hundred Forty Six: Cream Cheese
“You’d better change your locks: the fact that you haven’t caught this whale will sour your reputation,” said the harbourmaster, “and you will see your popularity dip because of this.” “I’m not here to...
View ArticleSix Puns Day Five Hundred Fifty One: Wax
How can dull moments make the paper? If you’ve found a way, I’m all ears. You can have plenty of B’s on your report card and eat a whole tuna melt, but it still wouldn’t amount to much (unless that...
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